DVD Commentary Meme

[the_deep_magic]

ewinfic did this a couple of weeks ago and it sounded like fun, so...

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

Can you tell I'm trying to avoid doing real work?

Comments

[ohourheartsbeat.livejournal.com]

from 'Into the White'

Zach ignores the blindfold for the moment, unsure he can look Chris in the eye just yet, and slowly helps Chris bring his arms back down to his chest. Zach concentrates on rubbing his thumbs over Chris’ wrists and hands, kissing the younger man’s fingers as he helps bring the circulation back.

When Chris can move his hands again, he reaches for the tie covering his eyes, and Zach nearly stops him – but doesn’t. Zach has no idea what to say, what the proper protocol is after tying one’s boyfriend up, flogging him with a belt, and fucking him blind. He’s pretty sure Emily Post never covered this particular eventuality.

It turns out not to matter. Chris’ eyes are bright and full of something too deep to name. He pulls Zach in for a sweet, sloppy, pleasure-drunk kiss that goes on for days – weeks, maybe – before they both have to break for air. Somewhere along the way, Chris’ huffed breaths become chuckles, which become genuine laughs, which Zach manages to catch, and soon they’re both laughing as hard as their exhausted bodies will allow.

“That felt fucking insane,” groans Chris, voice like honey and gravel. Zach reaches down to touch the inside of Chris’ thigh lightly, and the younger man hisses.

“Okay?” Zach asks, his voice a little shaky with more than just fatigue.

“Yeah,” says Chris. “Next time, fewer strokes, but harder. Now get some fucking lotion, will you? I might have to, like, sit down tomorrow.”

Zach lets out the breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. “Get it yourself. My arm’s about to fall off.”

“Nuh-uh, you do not get to complain about that,” Chris retorts, but Zach is already rising from the bed on unsteady legs, and Chris reaches out to try to swat his ass as he leaves.

He misses by a considerable distance.

*grins* I love this one.

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

Oh, endings! Have I mentioned how hard it usually is for me to write endings? I'll get to that in a sec.

(When I first started writing this comment, it turned into more of the story of how I got into the fandom and less about the actual fic. I cut that, but I think I'll make an actual post about it soon.)

Anyway, a little background on the fic -- my first time writing Pinto (writing RPS at all, really), up to that point the kinkiest thing I'd ever written, and largely composed while I was on vacation with my family, at night sitting on the balcony of the hotel until my laptop battery ran out. Taking all that into consideration, I think this one turned out really well.

So, yeah, endings. I have to just buckle down (<-- there's your pun!) and write them. This one was actually probably a little easier than most, because I could sort of channel my thought of what now? into Zach's head. After all, what DO you say after you've just flogged your beloved with a belt for the first time, even if you both really, really enjoyed it? So I just had them both crack up because, c'mon, sex is funny.

I love reading (and now writing) D/s, but as play, not as a lifestyle -- nothing wrong with it as a lifestyle, of course, just not my cup of tea. So I really wanted to end it on that moment of going back from Dom/sub to Zach and Chris -- a theme I used again in my Chris/Karl/Zach fic -- and address some of the practical concerns (well, that was fun, but my pants are going to chafe tomorrow) without getting too detailed.

Also, I have a friend who actually owns that huge Emily Post book and has read that fucker cover-to-cover. If I ever need to know where the shrimp fork goes, I will call her.

[ohourheartsbeat.livejournal.com]

I love these author's commentary things. They're so interesting to read.

I can't believe this was your first time writing both Pinto and RPS. I never, ever would have guessed.

Sex is funny, I agree. And I think if anyone would start laughing after having "flogged their beloved with a belt for the first time" it would be Chris and Zach. Especially Chris. LOL.

And I totally agree with the whole D/s as play but not as a lifestyle. I don't think anything's wrong with it either, I just couldn't do it past every once and a while. That's part of the reason I loved this fic. It had the kinky D/s stuff I love, but Chris and Zach are still Chris and Zach, not Dom and sub afterwards.

Wow. That's pretty impressive. LOL. :D

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

I can't believe this was your first time writing both Pinto and RPS. I never, ever would have guessed.

I went through a phase a few years ago (when the movies were coming out) in which I read Lord of the Rings RPS. I had a few ideas for fics worked out in my head, but they never got any farther than that. This time around, though, I thought "Fuck it, I'm writing it down this time."

Wow. That's pretty impressive.

Thank you! And thanks for replying to this meme -- I do so love to talk about myself. ;o)

This is an awesome idea btw

[tikra.livejournal.com]

“My point is, if you were really ugly, would I do this?” With that, Zach runs his tongue up Chris’ throat, ending in a wet, sucking kiss beneath his jaw.



“Zach,” Chris whispers brokenly.



“No, I mean it. Answer me. If this scar made you look hideous, would I do this?” He touches his lips lightly, reverently to the mark on Chris’ cheek, feeling the younger man shake in his arms as he does it.



“If you were so disgusting,” Zach whispers directly into Chris’ ear as he wraps an arm around him and presses their bodies together, “Would I want to touch you like this?”



“I… I guess not,” says Chris, and Zach feels a little bit of the tension ease.



“Of course not,” Zach retorts softly, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down Chris’ back. “I have a reputation to maintain. Can’t sleep with just anyone.”



Chris pulls back, and Zach’s suddenly afraid that he’s stepped over the line, but Chris kisses him pleadingly, like he doesn’t want Zach to let go. And he won’t. He lets Chris remove his shirt and walk them back to the bed.



He’s gently lowering Chris down when the younger man freezes and murmurs, “I want this, but… you need to turn off the lights.”

Re: This is an awesome idea btw

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

All of my English teachers ought to be proud -- my inspiration here was "Show, don't tell." Zach is looking for a way to shock Chris out of his self-loathing thought patterns, and what better way than licking him, right? I tend to see Chris as having a little bit of a hero-worship thing going on with Zach, and Zach uses that here to get Chris out of his head.

Re-reading it, I think I should've taken more time between the revelation that Zach wants Chris and the "Can't sleep with just anyone line." Luckily, fanfic writers get special dispensation when it comes to the "...and then they hop into bed" suspension of disbelief, but considering the time I took setting the situation up, maybe I should've given more than lip service to the idea that, yes, they both want this. Then again, it annoys me in some fics when the characters go on and on for pages about should they/shouldn't they when we all know they're gonna fuck eventually, so GET TO IT already. So, yeah, maybe it's best that I not rewrite things after I post them.

So, um, no earth-shattering revelations there, but I hope that was a little of what you wanted to know. If you've got any questions, just ask -- obviously I don't have a problem talking about myself. ;o)