Feb. 16th, 2013 12:11 am
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Default)


The horror, the horror... )

I guess it's a good thing I wore nice underwear?

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (SW: it's a love story really)
So I've had really good luck with bosses in my... let's be overly generous and call it a "career."  Even at the soul-sucking law firm job, my boss left me alone to do my work and wished me well when I quit.  Anyway, luckily enough, this trend has continued at the tutoring center, and the woman who oversees all the humanities tutoring (including writing and philosophy) is really sweet.  Almost too sweet -- she gives lip service to being all strict on the "no walk-ins" policy, but she won't actually turn anyone away, even if it means triple booking us or consulting with a student herself.  She's so laid back I sometimes want to sniff her ever-present Dr Pepper can to see if there's more than just Dr Pepper in there.* 

She's so sweet, she wants to make sure we're all eating enough roughage. )

*(There's no period after the Dr -- look it up.)
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (XF: yes ma'am)
If you are a fan of women's 10m platform diving and lacking someone to cheer for (quite a large demographic, I know), consider the U.S.'s Brittany Viola.  She graduated from my old high school, and while I didn't know her (as I am old, so old), I did know her older brother.  She's almost certainly not going to win a medal unless the Chinese do a double belly-flop, but she's qualified for the semis and has a decent shot of getting into the finals.

Also, while I have no reliable confirmation, this may have happened:

Gillian Anderson Living With Lover David Duchovny

Spongebob Wutface

Honest to god, I... I have no idea how to feel about this.  The X Files was my life from the ages of eleven through eighteen, so this is just, like... Words.  None.  I feel as though I have slipped into a parallel universe without a fourth wall.  If this is so, I would also request a copy of the Pinto sex tape and a shot at piloting the Millenium Falcon and/or the TARDIS.
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Everything's comin' up Zoidberg)
After hearing all this Facebook uproar, I went and checked my "Other" inbox to see all the messages I'd been missing out on, and there was only one.  It reads as follows:

I was impressed when i saw your profile today on Facebook and I will like to established a long lasting relationship , I'm new to these online dating world and was surfing around to find a profile that will suit what I'm looking for on here . I came across your profile and Drop by with a Yellow Rose that Signify friendship, I hope you accept my Rose if YES get back to me and tell me more about yourself and I will get back and do the same, i look forward to read from you, i wish to read from you soon , Hugs ,

...I'd totally ignore it if it wasn't the best offer I've gotten this year.  I, too, will like to established a long lasting relationship!  I'm not sure where this Yellow Rose is, though.  Is it metaphorical?  Or do I actually get a rose?  This is important; I want my damn rose.

Also, this guy I used to work with wrote this editorial [that's mainly about Spiderman toward the end, so I kind of skimmed that part -- it might contain spoilers, I don't know] that perfectly sums up how I felt about Prometheus and especially Snow White and the Huntsman.  I was counting the demographics that were being pandered to when I should have been seeing more of Chris Hemsworth shirtless immersed in the story.

And I meant to mention this a lot sooner, and I'm aware of the inherent hypocrisy, given my chosen fandoms, but: a reboot of the Spiderman reboot?  Really?  Really?  Can we all just look up "reboot" in the dictionary, because we keep using that word, and I don't think it means what we think it means.  It's not just casting different actors in the same parts.  It's like we've all decided "remake" is a dirty word, but "reboot," hey, if it's good enough for my operating system, it's good enough for my movies.  Ah, well, it could be worse -- it could be a "re-imagining."

Alright, I'll shut up already and show you my Kink Bingo card )

FYI, I AM still writing Pinto fic, I've just been working (or trying to work) on outside projects that are... not going as well as the fic.
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Pervy Hobbit Fancier)
the_deep_magic: (So then that happened)
My thought process:
"Hey, there's a dog two cars up ahead."
"That dog's pretty cute."
"Wonder what he's leaning on.  Can't see through the windshield of the car ahead."
"It... it looks like... flannel?"

What the actual fuck )


When I was in college, my mom and sister always got a week off in mid-February for winter break, so the family would usually drive up to visit me.  One year, my dad decides to take us out to a nice dinner at one of those Japanese cook-at-your-table restaurants, and the place is packed.  So my dad asks the waiter, "Is there something going on tonight?  It seems really busy for a Tuesday."

The dude chuckles a little bit, but my dad presses on.  "Is there some kind of event here?  A convention?"

The waiter stops laughing and looks kind of sympathetically at my mom.  "Uh... seriously?"

"Yes," says my dad.

"Um, sir, it's Valentine's Day."


Have we let him forget it a single Valentine's Day since then?  We have not.
the_deep_magic: (In which Jayne is wise)
Our tale of woe begins in mid-October, when Amazon e-mailed me one of those local deals for a yoga studio near my house.  Now, I really like the studio I've been going to, but this promised five regular yoga lessons plus one of aerial yoga for the low, low price of $30!  How do I turn down aerial yoga and not just because it might be research for a Pinto PWP?  There are hammocks!  So I bought the stupid thing, not knowing at the time that:

a) The studio was not set to even begin offering yoga classes until December, because;
b) The studio primarily teaches pole dancing.

Also something called Foxy Boxing. Yeeeeeah, no. )
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Everything's comin' up Zoidberg)
You guys, I have been nominated for a thing!  More specifically, my Chris/Zach/Zoe fic Repertoire has been nominated at [livejournal.com profile] wicked_awards (under RPF, the Something Wicked category).  If my nominator is reading this, thank you muchly!  I am über-flattered, complete with umlaut.

The winners are determined by judges, not voting, so sadly I will not be passing around any promotional buttons or flags or those flat straw hats with my name on the hatband (They still do those, right?  Apparently I stopped paying attention to elections in 1932.)  Buuuut I just wanted to toot my own horn, because a) it is just fun to do sometimes; and b) it sounds a bit dirty.
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Default)


First [livejournal.com profile] deliciousny drew a lovely picture of [livejournal.com profile] chase820 based on her Louise Brooks icon.  In the comments, I foolishly requested that, should she draw me, she NOT base it off my default icon and make me a giant bug.

So then this happened )

Lesson learned.  Keep mouth and/or keyboard shut.

(P.S. -- Don't tell her, but I'm really super-flattered.  Also, I have decided I look good in suspenders.  And wings.  I might have to grow some wings.)

EDIT: Sorry, I didn't realize it was f-locked!  I've asked for [livejournal.com profile] deliciousny's permission to repost it here.

SON OF EDIT: All fixed and under the cut!

the_deep_magic: (So then that happened)
Don't know if I mentioned it, but a few weeks I broke down and bought one of those cheek-swab DNA testing kits for Plato, in the hopes that knowing what unholy combination of specific breeds went into his design might give us some insight into training him.  (Pause for laughter.)  Incidentally, do you know that dogs do not like to have the inside of their cheeks swabbed, not even if you explain the reasons patiently?

Anyway, the report came back today, and it was, well...  I'll let you decide for yourself.  Just to refresh your memory, this is the dog in question:

The Dog )

Remember, I was told he was a dachshund/terrier mix.  These are the results that came back:

The Results )

the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Ole' bitches)
Uh... was there just a hugely controversial [livejournal.com profile] ontd_pinto post that existed and then suddenly disappeared?  Because if no one else saw it, I seriously need to adjust my medication dosage.

ETA: Oh thank god, it's back.  I wasn't hallucinating.  Also: WOW.
the_deep_magic: (Brannigan strikes again)
RPF Big Bang drafted and sent to beta!  Now I can work on the seven gazillion other fics I owe everyone!  Including Turnabout Intruder!  And post pictures of my dog!  Who did NOT shit on the (nonfunctional) treadmill today!  Huzzah!

But not tonight.  Tonight I'm gonna color in a coloring book, maybe read for a little while (the Percy Jackson Olympian series, which is thus far underwhelming to me), and then bury my head under three pillows and sleep until Wednesday.
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Everything's comin' up Zoidberg)
Whew, you people are disturbingly interested in my surroundings! ;o)  No worries, I asked for it.  Also, several of you, including [livejournal.com profile] perdiccas, asked for photos of my dog.  I was waiting to do a formal introduction post... and then I kept putting it off... so I'll just give you a little teaser now:


His name's Plato, but he also goes by Little Dog, Platelet, Peewee, Piddles McGee, and What The Hell Are You Eating Now; Spit That Out (that's his Indian name).  I promise to do a real introduction post soon, but for now, please enjoy a photo of my dog all bandana'd up for Dress Like Pinto Day.  Surprisingly, he did not mind it all that much, I just couldn't get him to stay still for a decent side-on picture

And now on to the rest! )

ETA: If some of the pictures are showing up giant, I don't know why that's happening.  I tried really hard to make them all a uniform 500 pixels at widest.  Dammit.
the_deep_magic: (So then that happened)
Me: I applied to four jobs today!
Dad: Congratulations!
Me: I mean, two of them were sort of weenie jobs, so I don't know if they count.
Dad: Well, that's okay, you start with the weenie and you move up to... bratwurst?
::uncomfortable silence::
Me: So I'm gonna go get a Slurpee.
Dad: Yeah, have fun.

the_deep_magic: (RESPECK KNUCKLES)
While I admit I was a little bummed to find I wasn't the first to use the William Strunk Jr./E.B. White pairing tag at AO3, I was desperately amused to find this.  Brilliance.
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Default)

Title: Every Word Tell
Author: [livejournal.com profile] the_deep_magic
Pairing: William Strunk, Jr./E.B. White (yes, the Elements of Style guys ::sigh::)
Rating: PG at most
Word Count: 1,957
Warnings: large age difference, teacher/student pairing, UST, angst
Disclaimer: even less true than the stuff I usually write
A/N: Blame XKCD and [livejournal.com profile] ewinfic and [livejournal.com profile] zjofierose.  Actually, I think someone could probably do a decent job with this story given time and effort and, like, legitimate research, but this is what you’re getting from me, so deal with it.  I tried to write crack and it came out angsty and baaaaarely slashy.
A/N II: Does it count as Rule #34 if there’s no actual porn in it?

The courier that delivered the manuscripts was a sullen, contemptuous boy who, naturally, had no idea what he was carrying. )

the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Office Hours)
A college singing group visited my church tonight, and they started out with "Don't Stop Believin'."  Clearly, this can mean only one thing...


One more macro under the cut )
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Default)

Title: Consumed
Author: [livejournal.com profile] the_deep_magic
Pairing: Pinto
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,721
Warnings: Um… vore.  Yeah.  It’s what I would consider a very mild form of the kink, but if you need a few more details, highlight: (skip) (“big bad wolf” type roleplay – no actual cannibalism, I promise).  Also bondage, a bit of humiliation and gagging, and – of course – biting.
Disclaimer: No. No no no.
Summary: It's a fantasy he's toyed with for years, but really, how do you bring it up?  Mention that the whole Hansel and Gretel thing kind of messed with his head as a kid?
A/N: Well, this particular kink somehow managed to come up at Beanfest, and then [livejournal.com profile] adoorhasopened mentioned it the other day on Twitter, and I mostly just wanted to see if I could write it.  And I did, very quickly, before I could think too hard about it. ;o)

'I could just eat you up' )


Mar. 1st, 2011 09:57 pm
the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Everything's comin' up Zoidberg)
...who wants to write me an AU fic where Zach is vacationing in the wilds of Peru to clear his head and Chris is his rugged sherpa?







the_deep_magic: A nightmare inexplicably torn from the pages of Kafka! (Default)

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