Calling all computer-literates

Okay sports porn fine literature fans, I need your help.  I may be in the market for a shiny new laptop for grad school.  I feel kinda bad, since the one I'm using still mostly works fine, but it's from 2007 and it's starting to slooooow doooown.  And I'm one of those people who insists on driving things until the wheels fall off, then duct taping them back on over and over again until it's more duct tape than wheel.  (For reals, I wear shoes until the soles either peel off or get worn through.)  But this time I'm thinking I ought to NOT wait until I get the Blue Screen of Death before I start shopping for a new laptop.

( In which I pretend to know what I am talking about )