The horror, the horror

[the_deep_magic]

Since the university doesn't give us enough money to buy actual blank paper, sometimes at work I go around to the various computer labs on campus and pick up the paper out of the recycling bins to sort through it for stuff that's only been printed on one side.  Not the most glamorous job, but it a) makes a tiny dent in the horrible paper-wasting that goes on here; and b) gets me the hell out of the "office" (read: double-wide trailer) for a little while.

So let's play a little game here.  Which of the following have I NOT found in the recycled paper bins?

a) Explicit photographs of horrifying medical anomalies
b) 70 double-sided pages of nothing but blank PowerPoint slides
c) Gum -- oh, god, so much gum
d) The same 13-page paper printed 39 times (yes, I counted)
e) Sheet music for Britney Spears' "Toxic"
f) Gay porn

If you said "B" you are... wrong.  Trick question -- I have found ALL of these wondrous things (and more) at one point or another.  The gay porn, by the way, came out of the Honors College lab, evidence of the shamefully low admission standards here, at least when it comes to common sense.  That's just College 101, people: no porn on the shared printer.  Corollary 126 of Rule 29 ("Never leave a paper trail") in the How Not to Be a Douchebag Handbook.  I mean, I didn't mind it so much (though, let me tell you, it was a surprise), but the guy who was helping me sort the paper still talks about that day like it was 'Nam.

And there is a special place in hell reserved for people who spit their gum into recycled paper bins.  Remember that.

Anyone else gonna have the first 60 seconds of tonight's Heroes on mental repeat for... ever?  ::flail::

Comments

[summersolstice1.livejournal.com]

LOL! My first guess was f), turns out I was wrong :P ...what kind of porn was it? fanfiction? *annoyed but curious*

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

HA! I WISH it was something as classy as fanfiction. No, it was a grainy black and white pic of a BJ-in-progress. Low quality suggested it was... possibly homemade. So, extra creepy. Hope that's not too much info.

[summersolstice1.livejournal.com]

nah, don't worry. it's really hard to scare me off ;)