the_deep_magic | The lesson is always the same: for god's sake, if it's alien, DON'T POKE IT.

Just saw Prometheus. I don't get to the movie theater nearly as much as I used to (Lawyer Friend, now in California, is also Cinema Buff Friend when we're in the same town), and I miss it. Anyway, I just re-watched the original Alien a few days ago so I'd be all primed for this one (which, if you haven't figured out by now that Ridley Scott was bluffing, is pretty much a prequel).

Overall impression: had me completely up until about the last third, 'round about the time Shaw essentially performs major surgery on herself, then gets up and runs around (yes, in a good deal of pain, but come the fuck on). It wasn't just that -- I felt like what had been a pretty tightly-plotted suspense movie kind of spiraled out of control. We're all excited to figure out the mysteries of the planet... and then the captain (not any of the scientists, who had actually spent time on the planet), just goes aheads and states full out what the planet is and its relationship to the "engineers." Just cabbages it right to the audience. He may as well have looked straight into the camera.

So I'm glad I saw it, and it was entertaining enough, but ultimately it asked a lot of Big Deep Questions it didn't even pretend to answer once the blood started spattering. Anyway, some thoughts, in no particular order:

~Not sure what they were going for with Shaw's character. I think Ridley Scott was just trying to get Noomi Rapace to play not-Sigourney-Weaver, and Noomi Rapace was trying to play not-Lisbeth-Salander, so we had all the makings of this tough female character who, I thought, didn't quite come together. I don't know, maybe it was just a personal perception, but something about Shaw just didn't quite resonate.

~Androids like flip-flops. Who knew?

~I've said it before and I'll say it again: British people should not attempt (American) southern accents. Many, many excellent British actors have tried and failed at this. I don't know what it is about the difference between the two that makes it so hard, but it should be avoided at all costs. (I have less data supporting the reverse -- that American Southerners should not attempt British accents -- but I'm willing to accept it as a corollary.) That said, I think there ought to be more intelligent characters with southern accents on American movies and TV. They're almost infallibly played as dumb hicks or sleazy con men. Some of the smartest people I know have southern accents.

~While I'm on the subject, why not just let everyone use their natural accents? There was no real reason for the character of Shaw to be British, and certainly no need for Janek to be southern (Janek -- that name just screams Deep South to you, huh?) Noomi Rapace and Idris Elba -- both great actors -- bungled their accents to a truly distracting degree, and there was no need for it. It was obviously already an international crew, so why not let Shaw be Swedish and Janek be British? The fuck?

~Logan Marshall-Green: the poor man's Tom Hardy? Discuss.

~What was David attempting to do by dosing Holloway and impregnating Shaw? His purpose was to find the "engineers" so Weyland could get eternal life or whatever. Was he just experimenting to see what would happen? Seems kind of off-script for an android, but then again, so does his eagerness for Weyland's death. He seemed intent on getting "pregnant" Shaw into cryo-sleep and taking her back to Earth. Why? Sigh... I guess this is something we have to wait for one of the many "director's cuts" to find out.

~The movie does, however, close one big plot hole from the original franchise: how would a creature (that I believe is stated to be silicon-based) that evolved on a completely different planet immediately be able to use human bodies as compatible hosts? Because the "engineers" designed them to kill humans. Still kind of inefficient, if you ask me. Egg, then facehugger, then chestburster, then homicidal xenomorph. We could skip at least two steps there.

~Ever notice how aliens, no matter the species or franchise, always leave plenty of goo about? We have seen life beyond this planet, and it is inevitably slimy.

~Gee, writers, way to bring up a whole bunch of heavy questions, give a few of them pat, simple answers, then leave us with a ton more questions. Oh, wait, one of the writers was co-creator of Lost? Never mind.

~Yes, I know he was also a producer on Star Trek. What of it?

~Pet peeve: something vertical is falling on character. Character runs away in a straight line and dies rather than dodging six feet to the left. ::facepalm::

~Though the whole self-surgery thing was both ridiculous and difficult to sit through, one detail I thought was pretty interesting -- that the surgery pod (or whatever it was called) was calibrated only for male bodies. [Warning: extraneous knowledge gained for now-defunct thesis purposes about to be spewed] For years, and even to some degree today, medical information was/is normalized through the male body. It was just assumed that it applied to everyone, including things like drug side effects and disease symptoms. The warning signs most commonly given for a heart attack? Mostly happen in males. Heart attacks present differently in females, which is a fact that's only recently coming to light. [/thesis] I realize the purpose in the movie was that the surgery pod was there just for Weyland, but still... interesting.

~Sir Scott, don't tell me this isn't a prequel to Alien and then end the movie in almost the exact same way (lone female, gallivanting about in her underoos, thinks she's safe only to find alien creature on escape pod).

~Funny how the dress code for cryo-sleep is "just enough fabric to keep our R rating."

~Very much looking forward to the sequel, starring Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender's disembodied head. Is it too much to hope they put it in a jar, Futurama-style?

Verdict: better than Alien 3, Alien Resurrection (though I don't think that one's quite as horrible as it's made out to be), and Alien vs. Predator (pretty horrible). Not as good as Alien and Aliens. Cannot speak for AvP: Requiem, as I do have some standards.

BTW, some parts of the original Alien, especially on the engineering deck? Rival ST:XI in terms of lens flare. Just throwin' that out there.