the_deep_magic | Creeper post

Next door neighbor must have his bed pushed up against the opposite side of the wall from mine, because I can very clearly hear him snoring. So far it hasn't bothered me trying to go to sleep (thank you, pharmaceutical industry), but it is still not a thing that should be happening. What if he decides to engage in other, less solitary bed-related activities? I do not want to hear that shit. I think we've demonstrated that I'm not much of a prude, but private is private.

Also, I'm pretty sure Crazy Simon is looking up terrible philosopher jokes on the internet, because he has a new one every time he sees me. I'm not even going to repeat them here, because I am a merciful and compassionate human being.

I just adore explaining to everyone why I'm tutoring writing and philosophy while studying criminal justice. I think the most pretentiously succinct answer is "I know pretty much everything except how to get a job." Good news, though -- I AM getting paid minimum wage! Seventeen extra cents per hour! Brand-name grape juice for everyone!

EXCEPT FOR SNORING MAN. OMG. NO JUICE FOR HIM.

Would it be insulting to leave a box of those Breathe Right nose strips on his doorstep?