The Oscars: Some Completely Superfluous Thoughts

[the_deep_magic]

Got 15 out of 24 picks right.  Good thing I didn't have any money on it.

First of all: where's the crazy-ass fashion?  The nuttiest thing there was Charlize's Theron's Boob Target dress which, don't get me wrong, was pretty nutty.  But go big or go home, y'know?  I guess what I'm saying is, why did nobody invite Lady Gaga?

Anyway, the ceremony itself was just kind of blah and predictable.  I do like both Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, but you could pretty much tell what was scripted and what (little) was ad libbed, and the latter was far funnier.  The pacing at the beginning was just... so... slow.  Does anybody know what was up with the George Clooney thing?

If they need to cut down on time (and they do), why not cut those bizarre montages (Whatever Happened to Baby Jane is a horror movie?) and that... uh, "dance" thing instead of the speeches?  I confess, I love the speeches for the less-notable awards, when the winners -- the people that genuinely never thought they'd win an Academy Award -- are surprised and ecstatic and gushing, sometimes in broken English .  The actors/actresses who win awards have had months of interviews and usually tons of other award ceremonies, but for the people who make, say, short documentaries, this maybe their only time in an international spotlight.  Let 'em babble on for a little while, y'know?

While I'm on that subject, this new thing where other actors talk about the Best Actor/Actress nominees?  Self congratulatory and super unnecessary.  And the PACING.  Holy balls, Michelle Pfieffer is awesome, but did she need... to pause... at every sentence?  And they couldn't find someone who worked with Colin Firth for more than three days?  Yeah, okay, Tim Robbins' thing was funny, but like I said: MONTHS of interviews and red carpets.  Meryl Streep is a really nice lady -- who knew?  Oy, at that point in the ceremony, keep it moving.

It always kind of amazes me when otherwise-good actors can't seem to read a teleprompter to save their lives.  Molly Ringwald looked terrified, the Cameron Diaz-Steve Carell thing was embarrassingly awkward, and... well, those two stick out in my mind, but the only presenters who were actually funny and on cue were Tina Fey and Robert Downey, Jr.  (I'm still not in love with the man, but I'm beginning to see his appeal.)  And Chris Pine, of course.  They didn't give him much to say, but damn, did he say it!  ewinfic is totally right re: Chris' voice and spontaneous orgasms.  WERQ that tux, bb!

I know a lot of people really liked Ben Stiller's thing, and I was with him up through "This sounded like a good idea in rehearsal," but then the bit just... dragged... on... (Please don't report me for ellipsis abuse)  I think maybe the tail/fishing rod bit was supposed to happen earlier, or something, because the timing was atrocious and the more he fake-babbled to fill time, the more I squirmed in my seat.  Maybe it's all those years in the theatre, because whenever I watch a live event and see cues obviously being dropped, my gut clenches for the stage manager yanking her hair out and the prop runners/sound board ops/grips who, at some point after the ceremony, are going to be flogged for it.

Okay, I've hated on it a lot, but here were some highlights: Best Costume winner (with 2 previous Oscars) dedicates award to costumers in non-flashy movies, some guy named "T-Bone" just stands behind his co-winner looking threatening, CPine + Eli Roth = WTF?, Mo'Nique thanks her lawyer (you just know there's a story there), Star Trek wins for makeup, Sandra Bullock's dress (shut up, it's shiny and I LOVE IT), Jeff Bridges might actually be The Dude, and a woman finally winning Best Director!

Comments

[leopardchic79.livejournal.com]

Yep, pretty much agree w/ all you said!

Maybe it's all those years in the theatre, because whenever I watch a live event and see cues obviously being dropped, my gut clenches for the stage manager yanking her hair out and the prop runners/sound board ops/grips who, at some point after the ceremony, are going to be flogged for it.

YES. That was me backstage this weekend, having a panic attack every time one of those kids wouldn't put their prop back on the prop table or hand it to me. Don't just throw it on the floor, damn you! lol

[1lostone.livejournal.com]

No ellipsis abuse... the... pauses... were.... *falls asleep waiting for next word*

I agree with you about the Steve/Alec stuff. Some of it was hilarious, but most of it seemed to be them laughing at Steve's movies. I think 4 people gqmf thing got The Jerk joke. Sigh. maybe I'm just old.

[therumjournals.livejournal.com]

i completely agree about the unnecessary story format in the end. i actually watched the entire thing until best actor because when they started with the stories i was like "are you kidding me, they're going to spend 5 minutes on ever actor...and then every actress after that?! oh hell no."

and i love what you said about the reactions going on backstage when people missed their cues, etc. yeah, that must be a little frustrating to watch from that perspective (seeing as it's awkward enough without even imagining that!)

[tikra.livejournal.com]

There, for some more orgasms :)