Also that dentist song

[the_deep_magic]

Hey, lousy_science was my Secret Santa! I totally knew Actually, I was completely surprised.  I didn't guess right for any of the authors except withthepilot and Chris and the Giant Package, because... yeah.  Who else? ;o)  Anyway, many thanks to lousy_science!  And since all the authors have been revealed, I can finally say...

HOLY SHIT, Y'ALL, I HAVE HAD "SUDDENLY SEYMOUR" STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR A MONTH AND A HALF.  ::wheeze, wheeze::

Okay, all better now.

Also: year-end fic meme!  It's the same one I did last year, plus a few additions.

This year I wrote and posted:
 
 41 Chris/Zach (plus 14 time stamp comment!fics)
1 Chris/Zach/Karl
1 Chris/Zach/Zoe
1 Kirk/Spock
1 Jim/Pam (The Office)
1 Peter/Neal (White Collar)

That’s 222,310 words of Pinto, and 238,879 words total.  HOLY BALLS.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
I don’t know what, exactly, I expected.  Well, in 2009 I started in the summer and wrote about 103,000 words of fic over half a year.  So I wrote at a slightly faster rate this year.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
Well, if I must choose from all the many, many pairings and fandoms I’ve written this year…  I wasn’t into White Collar before the end of the summer, so I’ll count that. 

What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?
I think it’s a toss-up between Let There Be Lips, because I was laughing even as I was writing it (well, parts of it – see below), or One Missed Call.  For some reason, the idea of Chris being wildly obsessed with Zach fucking Matt Bomer still amuses me to no end.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
Training Wheels felt like a risk, partially because I was trying to balance the exposition, the “what the hell is a sex surrogate,” with the hurt/comfort AND try to make the whole thing sexy.  And partially because there was a lot of me in that Zach.  I have some experience with social anxiety – though not with the severity Zach does in the fic – so some of the (non-sex) stuff was a bit of me projecting, though hopefully it wasn’t too blatant.  So it was kind of scary for me to put it out there, and I was so relieved when it was well-received.

From my past year of writing, what was . . .

My best story of this year: Maybe Eleven Conversations About One Thing.   You know how sometimes you finish writing something and think “Wow, that really went better in my head”?  This one matched pretty much perfectly with what I intended and I couldn’t be happier with it.  It makes me laugh when I reread it.  ;o)

My most popular story of this year: Our Thing, Eleven Conversations, and Office Hours were all pretty popular, but since the last one was my Big Bang, I think it was the most widely read.  Also surprisingly popular for a short-ish PWP: Tab A + Slot B.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Hmm… maybe Folie à Deux?  I think I just like it more that other people did.  I can understand why – I meant it to have this sort of unreal, dreamlike beginning contrasted with very physical, slightly-awkward-but-hot sex, and I’m not sure I pulled it off as well as I wanted to.  I have a hard time writing my favorite kinks, and that includes (Chris’) hands.

Most fun story to write: This year, it’s mostly parts within stories that I remember as being fun: Chris’ bad!sex tales in Eleven Conversations, Zach gushing to Chris’ dad in Somewhere That’s Green (link forthcoming), the dialogue in Idle Hands, every time Chris freaks out in One Missed Call…

Story with the single sexiest moment: Again, so hard to choose, but I think I’m going to have to go with Comfortably Numb, when Chris is tied to the bed but pleasuring himself hands-free with the prostate stimulator… and then Zach turns the vibrator on.  (If you want to go less porny and more erotic, I’m also quite partial to Zach removing Chris’ stockings in Ball and Chain)

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: Well, since I started writing it this year, I’m going to say that ZQ/Jeremy Irons fic I keep bitching about instead of actually writing.  If that doesn’t count, I guess I’ll go with Unfaithful – not that it’s wrong, per se, but even though I thought it was hot, I’m not comfortable with the way they use the OCs and each other.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Actually, I’m going to go with Contrite, my White Collar fic, on this one.  Part of the reason that I haven’t written more in the fandom – though I’d still like to – is that, though I find Peter/Neal unbearably hot, I don’t think I could write Peter as anything but monogamous (which, technically, he is in that fic).  Peter’s loyalty is a huge part of who he is, and I honestly think he’d completely deny his attraction to Neal simply because he’s married (even if his wife would be into a threesome – which I totally think she would).  It’s a very tricky dynamic, one that I have yet to figure out how to write, and I am in awe of the people who can write it and make me believe it.

Hardest story to write: Surprisingly?  Let There Be Lips.  I actually wrote everything up to them actually seeing the movie over a few days last October, then I stopped dead.  Then I wrote the Denny’s scene a few months later, then stopped dead again.  I had this great set-up, but the way I had written it, I just couldn’t see Chris and Zach simply going home and fucking.  I mean, it was Rocky Horror, so I wanted a sex scene, but either the fic was going to turn into an epic and be less about Rocky Horror or there was just not going to be sex.  I finally gave in and finished it, and you know what?  I like the ending just fine.

Biggest Disappointment: I posted a grand total of 981 words of K/S.  :oP  I really wanted to write more Star Trek stuff, but these Pinto plot bunnies will not be denied.

Biggest Surprise: As far as audience reaction, the response to Tab A + Slot B was a hugely pleasant surprise.  Sure, I thought it was hot, but it definitely, er, struck a special cord with quite a few people. :oD  And as far as writing goes, Unrequited was something totally unexpected because it was so far from what I normally write, yet so easy to write.  I remember going to bed toying with the idea of Chris saying “I can’t,” and the next day work was really slow, so I just sat down with my notebook and wrote the whole thing out by hand in about two hours.  That kind of flow is really rare for me – I can’t say it was the most fun to write, but that’s one story that wanted to be told.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I don’t know if it’s one single story, but I feel like all these romantic elements slip into my writing without conscious intent.  Even Unfaithful had a couple of those moments.  In real life, I’m about the most cynical, least romantic person ever, but yet I can’t seem to write a fic that doesn’t have at least a little bit of that in there.  Also, G from Eyes Only is basically me.

My fic writing goals for 2010:  Well, let’s start by looking at my goals from last year:
1) Finish the K/S fics I’ve started, especially the epic one – see “biggest disappointments”
2) Write a longer multi-part fics with plot – CHECK!
3) Keep writing – CHECK!
If I may quote the immortal words of modern-day bard Meat Loaf Aday, two out of three ain’t bad.  So this year, I want to finish Turnabout Intruder (in a timely manner) as well as a long Pinto h/c that’s been lingering on my hard drive forever.  OH, AND I WANT TO FRIGGIN’ WRITE SOME K/S.

Favorite 5 Opening Line(s):

“She was beautiful.”
Chris’ eyebrows lifted a fraction of an inch.  “She?” (Unfaithful)

Zach used to think that Chris never opened up to anyone.  This is not entirely true.  The fact is that Chris has exactly two levels of interpersonal boundaries: 1) the Great Wall of China and 2) nothing.  (Eleven Conversations)

“Are we seriously doing this?”
“Christopher, I have shaved.  Everywhere.  There is no backing out now.” (Zach and Chris Make a Porno)

“This isn’t working – it’s not gonna fit,” Chris groans, burying his face in the pillow. (Tongue-In-Cheek)

“I’m bald.”
“You are not bald. You are, however, a drama queen.” (Tennis, Anyone?)

 “He’s got the strongest tongue, Zo,” said Chris, leaning conspiratorially across the table.  “Seriously.  I didn’t even think tongues could be strong until he got his mouth on me.” (Repertoire)

Favorite 5 Closing Line(s):

And it’s damn hard to begrudge the Christmas-morning sparkle in Chris’ eyes, even if Zach does have to brave an endless future of brain-melting blowjobs to see it. (Binky)

But Zach is looking at Chris like he’s everything in the world, his hand still pressed to the collar around Chris’ neck, so everything else can wait. (Comfortably Numb)

“Seriously though,” says Zach, ever the auteur.  “Close-ups.” (Zach and Chris Make a Porno)

I don the sunglasses.  “Looks like this starlet is about to meat her match.”
M sighs.  “I hate you so much.” (Eyes Only)

Chris nearly rolls his eyes and shoves Zach off of him, but he decides this has potential.  “Zach, let me introduce you to Gustav, the nerdy Nordic librarian with a secret yoga fetish…” (Get No Blame, Feel No Shame)

Favorite 10 20 Line(s) from Anywhere: (okay, I may have gone a little overboard with this one, but I couldn't choose just 10!)

And if there is a WANK folder, Zach has to double click. He has no choice. He doesn’t necessarily want to see big-boobed Swedish lesbians slapping each other with herring (or whatever the hell straight guys wank to), but the mountain is there. He must climb it.  (The W Files)

 “The dick is metaphorical.  Mostly.”  (Our Thing)

Well, “a beer” had turned into tequila, lots of tequila, and there had been an incident with an airborne maraschino cherry and a guy named Big Eddie with a lot of tattoos, and at some point between hiding out behind the dumpster and crashing at Zach's place, Chris had decided to separate Zach from the Mongolian hordes and let him over the Wall. (Eleven Conversations)

 “All these pop-ups had better not buttfuck my laptop,” Chris moans.
Zach pulls out the Spock Voice.  “Captain, my diagnostics indicate your computer is in need of a thorough buttfuck.” (Some Weird Sin)

Chris follows him right into the bedroom.  “So this is where the magic happens?  The solo magic, I mean.  The solitary vice.  The sin of Onan.”
“Which one of us is Catholic again?”
“The one steeped so deeply in guilt over sex that he has elevated masturbation to an art form?” Chris asks innocently, and fuck it, Zach is going to whip his dick out just for the pleasure of watching Chris run squealing from the room, hands aflutter. (Tab A + Slot B)

“WE ARE NOT GOING TO GET CHRIS OUT OF THE BATHROOM.  CHRIS LIKES THE BATHROOM.  CHRIS IS CONSIDERING TAKING UP PERMANENT RESIDENCE AND HAVING HIS MAIL FORWARDED TO THE BATHROOM.” (Let There Be Lips)

“Hey, I agreed to beat you up and occasionally stick vibrating objects in you, not wade around in that Oedipal swamp of yours,” Zach teases, poking Chris lightly in the temple. (Vertigo)

They were always going to meet, Zach was always going to fall in love, and Chris was always going to turn him down with heartbreaking gentleness and that look of utter shame in his eyes. (Unrequited)

As much as Chris will swear up and down that Renee Zellweger is way, way hotter as Bridget Jones, Zach’s right – as soon as filming is over, Chris is going to pretty much move into the gym until he stops having that nightmare where he eats frogs out of a fishbowl and keeps demanding to see Solo and the Wookiee. (Stocky)

“Oh god,” he gasped, starting to panic himself.  “Is it… drugs?”
Chris’ jaw dropped open.  “No, you flailing buffoon!  It’s…  It’s a…”  He dropped his voice and leaned toward Zach.  “A feminine hygiene product.” (Your Changing Body)

“Please don’t make me come in my pa-haaaaants again,” Chris yelps as Zach plays him like a radio dial, increasing the volume.
“Your pants are not that great anyway,” Zach says, stopping to plant his hands on either sides of Chris torso and lean forward.  “Their sartorial worth is not greatly depreciated by your spunk.” (Idle Hands)

The bed creaks in time with us.  He wants to get a new one, but I’ll fight as dirty as I have to in order to keep this one.  I’m addicted to the sound of us together, the way it seems like the whole world groans and twists with us when we fuck. (First)

Chris presses a wet kiss to the side of Zach’s neck as he unwinds their limbs and slowly pulls out, meeting Zach’s groan with a lovingly whispered, “I think you got spooge on the wall.” (Take It)

“So your previous experience with homosexuality is pretty much limited to standing next to another guy.”
“Hugging.  There’s been some hugging.  And some very intense eye contact.” (My Heart Could Take a Chance)

“I know at least three guys who have slept with Jake Gyllenhaal,” Zach says, lightly rubbing a hand up and down Chris’ arm, “and he has a tiny dick.”
Chris grunts happily and wriggles back into Zach’s embrace.  “You’re my favorite.” (The Truth About Chris and Zach)

“Okay, first off, the iPhone is nigh impossible to dial with a butt. It is a truly advanced piece of technology.” (One Missed Call)

God, he’s a brat, and I’d ride him like a fucking Ducati if he’d let me. (Folie à Deux)

“Zoe, I don’t even think there are names for the things I want to do.  Like, I want to watch him work on a crossword puzzle while I eat mini-marshmallows out from between his fingers.  Is there a term for that?  Cruciverbamallowing?” (Office Hours)

“Am I to understand you wish me to bring you drinks and to… look pretty? (Pool Boy)

“Hey, your stomach’s rumbling.  What’s that, Zach’s stomach?  You say you’re really sick of granola bars?  And all you long for is the savory tang of a delicious, preservative-laden, batter-dipped all-beef frank?  On a stick?” (Turnabout Intruder in My Pants, pt. 1)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere I Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

Any/all of Let There Be Lips.  Don’t think I have to explain myself there.

Zach ~sneakily~ playing with Chris’ nipples in Idle Hands

Pool Boy Spock (babykid528, I’m looking at you!  ;o))

Chris and Zach performing That Scene in Somewhere That’s Green (link forthcoming)

Maybe an unbearably cute family portrait of Chris, Zach, and Nina watching Spongebob from You Can Even Bring the Effant.  Or rather, Nina playing with her toys while Chris and Zach watch Spongebob.

Well, looks like my New Year's Eve is going to be pretty sedate, but I hope you all have a good start to 2011.  2011, holy shit!  We are so oooooooold!

Comments

[withthepilot.livejournal.com]

BWAAAAA I KNEW IT WAS YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH! It was like, the most glorious fic ever. ;_________________;

Also, are you calling me predictable? ;)

41 Pinto fics, yeesh! You're a Pinto machine, woman! (mooooar in 2011 mooooooooar)

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

I KNOW, I WAS SO OBVIOUS LIKE AN OBVIOUS THING. But srsly, I'm so glad you liked it. If you couldn't tell, the prompt kind of hijacked my brain and refused to give the controls back until I went full-on epic with it. But my inner drama-nerd is pleased with the results, so I'm stoked that you are, too!

Please, an erotic painting of Zach? SO PREDICTABLE. ;o) It totally had your sense of humor all over it.

[rainbowstrlght.livejournal.com]

Goodness gracious, that is a lot of fic. Thanks for posting it all, especially since I recognize some all-time favorites mentioned here. ♥ What a great year for fic, and you were fab.

Training Wheels is one of the few fics that has ever made me cry, just so you know. I relate to Zach, too. Thanks for taking the risk!

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks, I love hearing good things about Training Wheels. And adding up all that fic makes me wonder if I actually did anything else this year but write Pinto! O.o

[ewinfic.livejournal.com]

I loved reading all those great lines again. Thank you for going overboard. :D

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

Would you believe I had to trim it down to get to 20? Of course you would. JSYK, I can't wait to read yours.

[zjofierose.livejournal.com]

i hereby double dog dare you to beat this tally for next year. and i am totally not suggesting that out of self-interest. i mean, what do you think i am?

nm, don't answer that. :D

well done, bb! that is a hell of a list. i have loved all your fics, and will continue to do so for all time. just so you know.

also? TOTALLY knew you wrote that fic for the exchange. medea and i were betting on it behind the scenes. ;)

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

Ha ha, my exchange fic was so obvious. I knew I wasn't fooling anyone! ;o)

Thank you for all your wonderful comments! I don't know if I'll beat this mark in 2011, but I'll try!

[littleboycalico.livejournal.com]

Oh I loved reading this cause it was like reliving some of my favorite fic moments from the last year! You're honestly one of my very favorite authors and many of your fics are ones that I go back and reread over and over. I can't wait to read the wonderful stories you'll write this year!

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you! I'm excited to find out what I'll write this year, too. ;o)

[fatty-fat.livejournal.com]

well now i just feel like going back and reading everything again.

the scary thing is i could click on any random link up there and love whatever it was all over again. NOT NATURAL. also, it would take me days. unreasonable amount of quality equal to quantity. you are insane.

IT IS BEAUTIFUL.

it's late and what am i saying.

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you! Feel free to babble on about how awesome I am at any time of the day or night! ;o)

[therumjournals.livejournal.com]

oooh, i like this meme!

Pinto plot bunnies will not be denied. - that's right! you do not deny those bunnies!

G from Eyes Only is basically me. - I had a feeling you were in there somewhere... :-)

GOOD YEAR, BB! NO PRESSURE, BUT LET'S MAKE 2011 JUST EVEN AWESOMER, K??? ;-)

[the-deep-magic.livejournal.com]

I'M NOT SURE I CAN BEAT THE AWESOMENESS OF 2010, BUT I WILL SURELY TRY!