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the_deep_magicTitle: Jordan Has Two Daddies (2/2)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: kid!fic, domesticity
Disclaimer: manifestly untrue
Summary: When Chris gets an unexpected new family member, he calls Zach for help.
Back to part one
“How did this…” Zach hissed, nudging Chris in the ribs. “I mean, how did this happen? Is this real life?”
Chris shrugged, trying (and failing) to look nonchalant. “Would you believe he owes me a favor?”
“Christopher, Leonard Nimoy does not owe favors to people like us. People like us owe favors to Leonard Nimoy.”
“Actually, it was all his idea. JJ told him about Jordan, and he called me up. Said he’d love to meet her, and if I ever needed him to babysit, to just call.”
Zach gaped. “And you took him up on it?”
“He kept asking me!” Chris shrugged. “I mean, his youngest grandkid is, what, twelve now? Maybe he misses being around babies.”
Leonard returned to the living room, holding Chris’ baby – a phenomenon Zach truly never thought he would see – and shooed them with his other hand. “Go on, you two. Have fun. We’ll be fine here.”
“Uh, okay. Yes. Thank you,” Zach stammered, reaching for his jacket.
“Thank you again, Mr. Nimoy,” Chris said.
Leonard clucked his tongue reprovingly. “Christopher.”
“Sorry. Leonard. Thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure. Now go on. Skedaddle.”
When they got outside and closed the door, Chris turned to Zach. “Did Leonard just tell us to ‘skedaddle’?”
“Oh, good, you heard it, too.” The paparazzi had largely lost interest in them for the moment, but Zach still took a minute to glance around before they headed for Chris’ car. “Hey, Chris, we never really discussed this, but are you sure you wouldn’t rather go out with… other friends? I know we’ve been around each other pretty much constantly – you’re allowed to take a night off.”
“Nah. Besides, we don’t actually spend a lot of time just hanging out anymore. Either we’re both with Jordan, or one of us is and the other one’s recuperating.” Then Chris stopped, the car door half-opened. “Unless… did you want to hang out with someone else? You can if you want to.”
“No, this is good,” Zach reassured him, climbing into the Mini Cooper. It had taken them hours to wedge the car seat into the back, but Chris had absolutely drawn the line at getting a minivan. “I’m just happy to get out, you know? Have a break in the routine.”
“Yes,” Chris groaned, dropping into the driver’s seat and buckling in. “So I was thinking: booze and music? Go out there and tear it up, just like old times?”
“Oh god, yes,” Zach said as Chris peeled rubber out of the driveway.
&
Zach stared at his half-full, mostly melted margarita and sighed. Beside him, Chris was slouched over the table, surrounded by empty shot glasses. He’d been putting them away all night, but Zach figured he probably needed it and had taken his keys after the third drink. God, it was loud in here. Did they keep turning the music up? It was so loud.
As Zach watched, Chris reached up and began to, slowly and with great concentration, stack the empty glasses into a pyramid. “Remind me,” he said, his eyes focused intently on the stack. “We used to enjoy this? We found this fun?”
Zach groaned. “Oh, thank god, it’s not just me. I’m so tired I could fall off this stool.”
“Are we done tearing it up now?” Chris asked mournfully, abandoning his stacking.
“Definitely,” Zach said, and though he wobbled a little from exhaustion upon standing, he had to carefully help Chris down.
“Next time,” Chris said, slurring a little. “Next time, we are going for dinner at a nice, quiet restaurant that does not serve anything that could be described as ‘creamed’ or ‘strained,’ and then we are going to a seedy pay-by-the-hour motel to lie face down and sleep for a few hours.”
“That sounds amazing,” Zach agreed.
“Hooo shit,” Chris groaned, steadying himself on Zach’s arm as they headed for the exit. “How much did I drink?”
“Just enough.”
“’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. You needed to unwind.”
“This isn’t what dads are supposed do,” Chris moaned, leaning harder into Zach. “I’m a bad dad. Heh. Bad dad. It rhymes. It sucks, but it rhymes.”
“Chris, I’m not going to belabor this point, because I don’t think you’re going to remember much of this tomorrow, but you’re an amazing dad.”
“’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Don’t argue with me when you’re drunk.”
Chris didn’t push it, but he didn’t stop pouting either as Zach awkwardly loaded him into the passenger seat. The Mini Cooper was obviously not designed to transport mopey drunks.
“An’m sorry you’re stuck with me,” Chris sighed as Zach joined him in the car.
Zach leaned over the console to take Chris’ chin in his hand and turn Chris’ head to face him. “Christopher. I suppose you’ve earned a little self-pity, but it’s okay to let people take care of you sometimes.”
Chris’ eyes were focused intently somewhere around the bridge of Zach’s nose, so Zach decided that Pep Talk time was probably over for tonight. The drive home took nearly an hour, thanks to construction and some only-in-LA Saturday night traffic, and Chris spent the whole time silently staring out of the window. Silence was a bit of a luxury for both of them these days, so Zach didn’t break it.
By the time they pulled into the driveway, Chris seemed to have sobered up quite a bit. As Zach went to pull the keys out of the ignition, Chris’ hand stopped him. “Zach.”
“Mmm?”
“I never asked you why.”
Zach searched Chris’ face for clues, but came up empty. “Why what?”
“Why you’d do all this for me. Give up your social life, pretty much move in with me, all to help me raise a kid that’s not related to you at all.”
Zach immediately flushed – it was a question he had been trying not to ask himself. “You… you’re my friend, Chris. And you asked me for help.”
Chris narrowed his eyes, suddenly looking immensely perceptive for someone who’d had so much to drink. “So you’d do that for any of your friends? Just… drop everything?”
“I… some of them. Maybe? I don’t know. Does it matter?”
Chris’ gaze dropped, but he didn’t let go of Zach’s hand. “I didn’t get drunk tonight to unwind. I was going to ask you… Well, tell you. No, ask you. I thought a drink or two would make it easier, but it didn’t so I kept going, but if I don’t say it now… God, I should’ve written something – I was always shit at improv.” He looked up at Zach again, his eyes a clearer blue than Zach had ever seen them, even in the dim light. “I couldn’t have done this without you. I know people say that all the time, but really, I would be huddled in the corner in a little ball of crazy and Jordan would’ve been taken away by social services by now if it weren’t for you. You’ve done more for me than I could ever ask for, more than I could ever repay even if I started right now, and I wondered… You know that thing that we do sometimes, that we don’t talk about in the morning, I think about it a lot and I wanted to know if… maybe there could be something more?”
Zach had to consciously keep his jaw from dropping open. “More, as in…”
The corner of Chris’ mouth quirked up lazily. “Zach, we’re pretty much living together. We’ve been sleeping in the same bed half the time. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”
“Of course I’ve thought about it,” Zach said, his mind trying hard to catch up with his mouth. “And I do want… But can we?”
“Why not?”
“You know why not.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Jordan.”
Chris looked stunned, like he honestly hadn’t thought of that, and Zach was reminded that Chris still wasn’t really sober. God, Zach just wanted to pull Chris in for a hug and hold him tight – he was already so overwhelmed with taking care of Jordan, Zach didn’t want to make his life more complicated. Not now at least. “So you’re fine with a little free humping, but now that I actually ask you to own up to it—”
“Chris, now’s not a good time, but maybe in a little while—”
Chris’ expression was rapidly morphing from confusion to anger. “I’m not just babysitting, Zach. Jordan’s with me forever.”
“I know that, of course I know that, but—”
“No but,” Chris nearly shouted, and the way he was fumbling with the door handle would’ve been funny under other circumstances. “That’s how it is. I thought you knew that.”
“I do, but—”
Chris finally managed to shove the door open. Before he got out, he turned to face Zach. “Do you need anything from inside? Because I think you should go back to your place tonight.”
“What?” Zach felt like he’d let something important slip from his grasp when he wasn’t paying attention, and now there was no getting it back.
“I don’t want you here,” Chris enunciated slowly and clearly.
“But you’re—”
“I’m fine. You should go.”
“I don’t want to go!”
“Too bad,” Chris said, his expression pitiless. He slammed the car door behind him.
After Chris went into the house, Zach stayed where he was, hoping that Chris would come to his senses and come back out. Then he hoped that Leonard would come out, but remembered that it was nearly one in the morning and Chris had invited him to stay the night.
Finally, Zach gave up and backed out of the driveway.
&&&
He intended to give Chris at least a day to cool down, but Zach only made it until around 11 the next morning before he really started to worry. Hopefully, Leonard had stuck around long enough to help Chris with the baby in the morning, but Zach had known Chris to fake his way through a few bad hangovers, managing to convince just about everyone he was fine even though he was barely functioning.
After going back and forth with himself for half an hour, Zach finally texted Chris: everything alright over there?
The reply came back quickly. Everything’s fine. Leonard left an hour ago. And then, as if reading Zach’s mind: Don’t come over.
Zach sat and stared at his phone for a long time, twice starting to reply but ultimately deleting the text. What was he supposed to say to that? Slowly, he went from worried to truly pissed off. What the hell was Chris’ problem? As much as it had hurt, Zach had turned Chris down as gently as he knew how and tried to leave the door open for something in the future, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for Chris. What did he want from Zach? Their little arrangement, bizarre and frustrating as it could sometimes be, had been working.
Angry, Zach turned his cell phone completely off in illogical defiance and got up from the couch. He finally had some time all to himself; this was good. No, this was great. He could do whatever he wanted now without interruptions – finally finish that Donna Tartt book, cook that vegetarian curry recipe he’d been dying to try, maybe catch up on replying to his friends’ e-mails. But many of his friends had stopped e-mailing him after he had to keep turning down their invitations, he didn’t have any of the ingredients for the curry, and he couldn’t concentrate on the book for longer than a few sentences.
Without even Noah and Harold around the house, there was nothing to distract himself from the fact that he had no idea what to do with himself. He’d only been helping Chris care for Jordan for about three months now, but he was already having trouble remembering what his days off were like before.
Ultimately too lazy to go to the grocery store, Zach ended up turning on a Bad Girls Club marathon and lying listlessly on the couch, picking at a thread on one of the cushions until he’d nearly pried the entire seam apart. He couldn’t remember feeling this useless in a long time. He felt so listless that he barely realized he was dozing off.
He woke an embarrassing number of hours later with an idea. He had at least one good friend with a husband, kids, a steady job – in all, a disgustingly perfect life – and Zach wasn’t so naïve to think it was all down to good luck and a perky ass. So he swallowed his pride and called Matt Bomer.
Zach truly meant to ease into the subject, since they hadn’t talked in months. Instead, as soon as Matt answered the phone, Zach blurted out, “You’re happy, right?”
“Zach?”
“Um, yeah, it’s me. Sorry. Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Yep. Simon took the kids to Jones Beach, even though I still say it’s too cold. Anyway, what’s up?”
There was really no good way to give an abbreviated version that didn’t sound like a wacky movie plot, so Zach started at the beginning, from that first frantic phone call from Chris when he had been getting ready to go out, all the way up to the previous night’s fiasco. Zach was out of breath by the end.
Matt was silent for a long moment, but finally said, “You do know you’re hopelessly in love with him, right? You didn’t mention it, and I just wanted to make sure you’re aware.”
“Yeah, I had pieced that together.”
“And the, uh, midnight incidents. You really didn’t see where that was headed?”
“Well, now I do.”
Matt chuckled warmly. “You never did like to do things the normal way, did you?”
Zach had to smile at that. “Not so much.”
“Ok, what exactly did you say that set him off?”
“He asked why we couldn’t be together, like he honestly didn’t think the whole process of raising a child was even a factor to consider. Then when I mentioned Jordan, he flew off the handle.”
“Hmm,” Matt said with an almost infuriating calm. “Well, I don’t presume to know what’s going through his head right now, but remember he’s still sorting out how much of his life is still his and how much is now dedicated to Jordan. It sounds like he knows that it’s almost entirely the latter, but he may not have made peace with that yet. It’s only been, what, three months?”
“Around there, yeah.”
“I also think you need to remember that, as much as you’ve been helping out, Jordan is Chris’ daughter. You have the option of calling it quits and going back to your own place – he doesn’t.”
“The past couple of weeks, he’s seemed like he’s handling things so well. I guess I didn’t think he was still having a hard time.”
“Trust me, it’s going to take a while. Simon and I agreed we were totally ready to adopt, and four months in I caught him pricing one-way airline tickets to Cabot. I was so angry I made him sleep on the couch for two weeks, mostly because I was mad at myself for wishing I had thought of that first. But now we both get all weepy leaving the kids even for the weekend. Well, most of the time.”
Zach chewed on his lower lip. “So what do I do?”
“Well, you can’t let Chris push you away. If you’re in this – and it sounds like you are – you have to be in. Trust me, Zach, he needs you. Wait a day or so, then go over there and grovel.”
“But what did I do wrong?”
“I don’t know – maybe nothing at all. But if you ever want to have a chance with him, you can’t turn this into a matter of your pride.”
“What if he won’t even let me in the front door?”
“Is Jordan used to seeing you every day?”
“Yeah.”
“He’ll let you in.”
Zach sighed. He wasn’t sure about any of it, but Matt sounded so confident. Of course, Matt always sounded confident, the suspiciously pretty bastard, but Zach had to admit that Matt had experience and an excellent track record on his side. “Hey, man, thanks for listening. If there’s ever anything I can do—”
“I’ll tell you exactly what you can do. The next time you’re in New York, you’re going to come over here and babysit so I can take Simon to a ridiculously expensive hotel and we can spend a few days doing nothing but f—”
“Got it. Thanks.”
&&&
By the time Zach ended up knocking at Chris’ front door, he’d been through an enormously stressful 24-hour process. After he’d hung up with Matt, he’d been sure he needed to march right over to Chris’ place, drop down on his knees, and beg to be let back in. But as he got ready to go, he started thinking about it and wondered whether Matt was right at all. After all, Matt didn’t know how much of a stubborn bastard Chris could be. Then Zach decided that the only way to solve this was to wait until Chris came to him, because it needed to be Chris’ own idea if it was going to work.
That night, though, Zach was pretty sure he woke up every hour on the hour, listening to the dead quiet all around him. It wasn’t like he and Chris always ended up in the same bed, but something about being totally alone in the house bothered Zach. He didn’t dream that night – he was pretty sure he never even slept deeply enough for that. An hour or so after dawn, he finally forced himself to actually get out of bed.
He thought about rushing straight over to Chris’, work be damned, but they were already running behind on the shooting schedule and Victor would kill him. Plus, he felt like he should probably bring peace offerings, just in case.
So that evening, he stood on Chris’ front stoop, holding a bottle of Chris’ favorite wine and a couple of short story collections – stuff just for Chris – and prayed he wouldn’t be turned away on sight. He ran the doorbell and winced hard as he heard Jordan start to cry. He almost chickened out, but knew that even if he hid behind a bush, Chris would see his car, and a ding-dong-ditch that woke up the baby would likely render their friendship – and anything else – irreparable. So Zach just held his breath as the wailing got louder, interspersed with Chris murmuring soothingly to her as he brought her with him to the front door.
Chris looked pissed, but he didn’t slam the door in Zach’s face. They stared each other down for a few tense moments, Jordan still crying, until Zach finally broke. “Here, let me…” he said, moving into the front hall to set the books and bottle down on the table by the door. To his surprise, Chris didn’t stop him. He did hesitate to hand Jordan over for just a second, though, and it was enough to break Zach’s heart. But Chris relented, and Zach carefully took Jordan in his arms, holding her close and rubbing her back soothingly. “I’m back, sweetheart,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry I went away, but I’m back now.”
Zach stepped into the living room, giving Chris a moment alone to look at the books and the wine. After a minute, Jordan’s sobs came less and less often, until she finally quieted down. Zach thought about putting her back in the playpen, but couldn’t bring himself to let go of her warm, familiar weight against his chest. There was no getting around it – he was in love with Jordan, too.
With Jordan breathing wetly against his neck, Zach sat patiently on the sofa, not wanting to push Chris too soon. He could tell Chris was stalling, first taking his time putting the wine away in the kitchen, then taking the books to his bedroom. At one point, Zach was half-convinced that Chris had actually plopped down on his bed and started reading, but it didn’t matter – Zach was here to show Chris that he was committed to this.
Zach was starting to doze lightly when Chris reemerged, looking more tired than angry now. He sat down on the other end of the couch – as far away from Zach as possible – and Zach perked up right away, feeling Jordan squirm a little against him as he sat up.
“I just…” Chris began, speaking quietly and training his eyes firmly on the couch cushions. “I don’t get you, Zach.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Zach said earnestly. “I’ll admit, I’m not entirely sure what it was I did or said to make you upset, but that was never my intention. I care about you so much, you and Jordan both, and I hate that you’re mad at me.”
Chris finally glanced up at him, looking utterly perplexed. “See, that’s just what I mean. You say these things, and you come over here and you’re so good with Jordan, but…” Chris shook his head fiercely.
Zach felt the urge to apologize again, but for what? Caring about Chris? Doing the best he could to help with Jordan?
Jordan started to squirm, evidently tired of being still, so Zach gently set her in the playpen, making sure she had the little stuffed kiwi that Karl had sent – it was her favorite. When Zach looked back up, Chris had an utterly pained expression on his face. “Chris, I’m sorry, but there’s obviously something I’m not getting. Just… pretend I’m really slow and start at the beginning. Please?”
Chris gave him a look that clearly said he wasn’t going to have to pretend, but he finally started talking. “I don’t know how much there is to say. That was really hard for me to do, lay it all out like that, especially since I’ve never really been with a guy. I mean, I fooled around a little bit in college, but it never led to anything.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter, does it? Not if you won’t date someone with kids.”
Zach blinked, sure he had misheard. “I won’t… what?”
“I know I shouldn’t blame you. Before Jordan, I don’t think I would have, either. But that’s what I don’t get. You’re so good with her—”
“Chris, wait,” Zach interrupted. “When did I say I wouldn’t date someone with kids?
“The other night. Well, I guess technically you just said you wouldn’t date me with a kid.”
“I… no, I didn’t. I’m sure I didn’t say that.”
“I asked you what the problem was and you said it was Jordan.”
Zach racked his brain, trying to remember the exact exchange. “No, you asked why we couldn’t date right now.”
“So what? Answer’s still the same.”
“Chris, we can’t date right now because we are spending just about every waking moment caring for a very young child. Whom I adore, by the way, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to agree to make your life more complicated by trying to start something while you’re focusing on Jordan.”
“Hold on, so…” Chris licked his lips as he thought it through and Zach had to grab hold of the couch cushion to keep from reaching for him. “You’re okay with dating someone with kids?”
“I never have before, but hypothetically, yes, absolutely.”
“And you’re okay with Jordan?”
“Chris, would I be pretty much living here if I weren’t?”
Chris narrowed his eyes. “So remind me why you turned me down again?”
Zach sighed in frustration. “I’m trying to make your life easier by being around, not harder.”
“Uh-huh. And how, precisely, would it make my life harder if I were getting regular and I assume pretty above-average sex?”
“But it’s not just the sex you want, right? It’s the whole relationship. And that takes work.”
“Yeah, I got that, but humor me for a minute. Let’s say that we were in a relationship. What would be so different from what we’re doing now?”
“Well, we’d…” There were things. There had to be things. But for the life of him, Zach couldn’t think of anything but the sex, which he’d been trying desperately not to think about for months now. “I’d need to spend more time with Noah and Harold,” he said at last, rather weakly.
To his credit, Chris didn’t burst into laughter. “I think we can arrange that. We can bring them over here one day and see how they do, but I think Noah’s calm and well-trained enough to be around Jordan. And Harold… well, we’ll just make sure to keep him extremely well-fed.”
“But…” Zach caught himself before he managed to say what he was thinking – but that means I’ll have to move in. Because, really, except for the weekly visits to make sure his own apartment hadn’t caught fire, he was pretty much living with Chris. He’d even been bringing over his houseplants one by one. Before he spoke, he manage to rephrase it: “But then we wouldn’t just be living in the same house. We’d be living together, without even having gone out on a date.”
Chris bit his lip and nodded. “I was thinking, if that came up… you could go back to your own place, you know. I mean, I’m kind of getting a hang of the whole parenting thing, plus Jordan’s mostly sleeping through the night now, so if you wanted to, like, try this the normal way, we could. I’m sure you’re probably dying to have some time and space to yourself.”
Zach knew Chris was being pretty levelheaded about the whole thing, but his first reaction was still please don’t kick me out. Chris wasn’t rushing him, though, so Zach took a moment to get his thoughts together. “I don’t think I want normal. But whether I stay or I go back to my place… what if we break up?”
“Are we not even allowed to date before you break us up?”
“No, I’m not— I just mean, is that going to be good for Jordan?”
Chris’ face went serious. “Zach, I’ll be honest with you – I don’t think I can stay where we are. It’s been great, but I can’t keep going like this. We either need to move forward, or…”
“Or?”
“Or we go back to being friends. Good friends, but friends who live in separate places and don’t… visit each other at night.”
“Are those the only options?”
Chris seemed to be deflating before Zach’s eyes. “Is this even something you want? Am I something you want?”
“Yes. Oh my god, yes,” Zach blurted. “You and Jordan, you’re pretty much my life now. Last night, my apartment just seemed so empty. I want…”
Leaning forward, Chris murmured, “Yes?”
“You, Chris. I want you, but I don’t know if—”
Chris didn’t give him time to pose any more objections, just slipped a hand behind Zach’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Zach gasped and Chris used it as an opportunity to slide his tongue between Zach’s lips. He wasn’t shy or hesitant in the least – he kissed Zach like he’d never get the chance again, and it pulled a deep moan out of Zach. At the sound, Chris scrambled forward, practically climbing on to Zach’s lap. Zach suddenly found his arms full of warm, eager Chris, and it was almost too much. He couldn’t think, and what was more, he didn’t want to. Zach locked an arm around Chris’ back to keep him close and curled his tongue against Chris’.
Chris groaned and pressed in closer, letting Zach feel the growing bulge in the front of his jeans. Zach couldn’t help it; he thrust up off the couch, drawing another, louder moan out of Chris as Zach slipped a hand down the back of his pants, and—
“BA GA GA GA thhhhhhhlb.”
Zach froze. Chris pulled back slowly, and when his eyes opened, he looked like he was emerging from a very deep sleep. His lips were red and wet, and Zach ached to kiss them again, but Jordan let out another stream of babble and Chris shook his head.
“We can’t,” he said, and Zach’s heart started to plummet. He’d finally started to come around to the idea that this could actually happen, and Chris was calling it off? But Chris continued, “Not with Jordan here. I love what we’ve been doing, but I gotta say, I really want to be able to… finish for once.”
Zach nodded. He couldn’t really think with Chris in his lap, but nor could he bring himself to push him away. “So, what do we do?”
Chris was the one who finally moved, pushing off of Zach and wincing a little at the tightness of his jeans as he stood. “I think,” he said, trying to nonchalantly adjust himself, “that maybe we should back up a little. Not jump in the middle like this. How about I call my mom about babysitting one night this week and I take you out to dinner? We can pretend it’s a normal first date.”
Truthfully, Zach was entirely fine with going right for the fun stuff. But they ought to take this slowly if they wanted it to work. Taking a deep breath to slow his heartbeat, Zach said, lightly, “What, you’re not going to call Leonard?”
Chris cringed a little. “Man, you know I love Leonard, but the other night it was an hour and a half of what I ought to do to ‘keep you from getting away.’ And then some stuff about making Jordan listen to Chopin twice a day, all while I was half-drunk. I feel like I’ve been adviced to death.”
“Fair enough,” Zach chuckled.
Chris shifted uncomfortably. “Hey, can you watch her for a second?”
“Sure. You alright?”
“Yeah, uh, I just have to…” Chris glanced down at his crotch. “…go take care of something real quick.”
Zach was in a similar state, but he felt like he owed Chris a little for the misunderstanding earlier. “Go,” he said, shooing Chris away.
As Chris left, hobbling ever so slightly, Zach reached for Jordan, who was starting to get cranky. Zach set her lightly on his knees and sighed. “I guess we’d better start saving up for your therapy bills now.”
&&&
The restaurant was nice, a little hole-in-the-wall Mediterranean place that still managed to be elegant. The atmosphere was nice, very low-key with a couple of live musicians playing softly in the background – no paparazzi here. The food was very nice; Zach was halfway through some kind of lamb and pasta casserole that was truly delicious.
And it was quite possibly the worst date he’d ever been on.
They’d gotten Chris’ mother to look after Jordan, and Chris sent Zach back to his own apartment to get ready, swinging by to pick him up before dinner. The car ride to the restaurant was the first clue that this had been a bad idea. Chris had been playing that awful hip hop music he liked and had it up way too loud. Zach wasn’t sure if it would be rude to say anything about it on what was technically a first date, so he spent the entire way to the restaurant struggling to hear and respond to the few words Chris said to him.
Chris was actually wearing a suit, too, and he looked massively uncomfortable in it, constantly tugging at his sleeves or shifting the jacket on his shoulders. He hadn’t told Zach to dress up, though, and refused to let him go back in the house and change, since it would make them late for their reservation, so now Zach felt awkwardly underdressed in his jeans. Which he managed to spill wine on not five minutes into the meal.
They’d sat in awkward silence for long minutes, trying to chat about breadsticks or the weather and failing miserably. Zach didn’t quite know what to talk about, since Chris was pretty well up to date on everything going on in his life, so he made the fatal mistake of bringing up Trek and the question of what Chris was going to do with Jordan once filming finally started.
“Look, I know it’s something I’m going to have to deal with eventually,” Chris said peevishly, “but they still haven’t got a completed script and filming won’t start for months, anyway. I’ll figure something out.”
“This isn’t something you can leave to the last minute, Chris. This is a big deal. You’ve been with Jordan almost all day, every day for months – how are you going to deal with being away from her for hours every day? How is she going to handle it?”
“You think I haven’t thought about that?” Chris snapped. “What do you want me to do, bail on Trek like I did Jack Ryan?”
“No, god, of course not. I just don’t want you to let so much time go by that you wake up one morning and realize filming starts in a week and you still have no plan.”
“Still trying to make my life easier for me, huh?” Chris grumbled, and they lapsed into heavy silence.
Zach stared down at his pastitsio, which had started out tasting so good, but he’d pretty much lost his appetite. He hazarded a glance up at Chris, who was picking intently at a thread on his lapel, and suddenly Zach couldn’t stand it anymore.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” he grunted as he rose from his seat. He just needed a few minutes away from Chris to think this through. There was no salvaging the date, obviously, but with some work, their friendship might survive. Except that would probably require space – something that Zach didn’t want to give, not even when he was so frustrated with Chris that he wanted to smack him upside the head.
The men’s bathroom was a fairly large one-seater, and as soon as Zach got the door locked behind him, he let out a long, pained groan. Despite the fact that he’d been trying to remain sensible, he had so hoped this would work. It could have been so good, so perfect. He forced himself to walk over to the sink, mechanically turning on the faucet and splashing cool water on his face. He looked at himself in the mirror and immediately wished he hadn’t – he looked tired.
Looking at the bags under his eyes, the laugh lines starting to form around his mouth, Zach felt a momentary but deep pang of despair. His career was going so well that he’d hardly given any thought to finding someone and settling down. He’d always just sort of assumed it would happen when it was meant to, but here he was, closing in on 35 and unable to even go on a successful date with someone he really liked without it going all to hell. Though surely he couldn’t take all the blame for tonight’s disaster…
The sharp rattling of the doorknob snapped him out of his thoughts and he was just glad he’d remembered to lock the door. The rattling soon stopped, but whoever was out there then started pounding on the door instead. “Occupied!” Zach shouted, uncharacteristically flustered by the noise, and tried to get his thoughts back together to form a plan for the rest of the night.
But the pounding only intensified. Zach felt bad for whoever had to use the bathroom that badly, but he just wasn’t up to going back out there yet. “Go away,” Zach shouted again. “I ate some bad clams. It’s like a horror movie in here.”
“You are such a terrible liar,” came an exasperated voice from the other side of the door.
“Chris?”
“Let me in there. Unless you really are experiencing gastrointestinal distress, in which case—”
Zach was at the door in two steps, opening it and pulling Chris in before the entire restaurant heard him. “Okay, what the hell?”
Chris’ eyes were solemn. “Zach, I don’t know what’s going on out there, who we turned into tonight, but that’s not us. I know we argue sometimes, and that’s healthy and all, but the two guys who have been awkwardly making small talk in between snapping at each other? I don’t know who they are, but I want them gone. I want it to be us again.”
Zach’s insides began to melt at the sincerity in Chris’ voice, but he had to be realistic. “Chris, this isn’t working.”
“Are you just saying that because of tonight?”
“Well, yeah. Now we’ve tried the normal dating thing and we know it doesn’t work.”
“Fuck normal,” Chris growled, his eyes suddenly sparking with heat. “I’m not throwing away the best three months of my life after two bad hours. We can fucking make this work.”
Before Zach could process that, Chris’ hands were sliding around his neck, refusing to allow Zach to back away as Chris pressed their lips together. This kiss was rougher than the one they’d shared a few days ago – more urgent, and with much more teeth. Zach’s arms went around Chris’ waist automatically, pulling Chris’ warm, willing body close. Chris tasted of garlic and Greek spices and, somewhere deep down, pure heat, and Zach was slammed into full arousal in an instant.
Zach felt like he should say something to mark the moment, even just a “yes, please,” but when he pulled back to look Chris in the eye, he found his voice utterly gone. But when Chris began reaching for Zach’s belt, he sprang into action, unlatching it quickly so Chris’ hand could slip inside and Zach could crush their mouths together again.
He wasn’t giving Chris enough space to do more than awkwardly stroke his fingers along Zach’s length, but Zach couldn’t bear to give up the tight press of their bodies from chest to thigh. Chris pushed and maneuvered until Zach’s back was against the wall, as though Zach was planning on trying to escape, even with Chris’ hand down his pants. Zach groaned at the loss of body contact when Chris pinned his shoulder to the wall with one hand and stepped back, but quickly stopped complaining when it allowed Chris to wrap the fingers of his other hand around Zach’s cock and tug. Zach let out a loud gasp, then another, more pained sound when his head knocked back against the wall. Chris had the audacity to chuckle breathlessly at that, and Zach decided it was time to keep things moving.
With only a little remorse, he removed Chris’ hand from the front of his jeans. Chris frowned for a moment – but only a moment, because then Zach was reaching for Chris’ zipper, deftly undoing his trousers and lifting Chris’ cock out of his underwear.
Their little late night frot sessions had never involved nudity, so Zach was finally getting his first look at Chris’ dick, and he was not disappointed. Though he wasn’t fully hard yet, it was still pleasantly heavy in Zach’s hand, growing thicker with each stroke. Chris whimpered shamelessly and leaned in, burying his face against Zach’s neck to suck and bite as Zach worked him over. The renewed closeness meant that Zach’s hand bumped against his own erection, still straining against his briefs.
After many frustrating encounters over the years, Zach had learned that mutual hand jobs were nearly impossible when one party was a lefty and the other a righty, but it also meant that he’d learned some patience, or – failing that – some ways to expedite the process in a mutually satisfying manner. Without letting go of Chris, Zach pulled his own cock free, groaning with relief. He pressed their erections together, encircling both in his left hand and pumping firmly.
He felt Chris’ frame stiffen against him, but his cock practically leapt in Zach’s hand, and Zach grinned victoriously as Chris’ hips started to rock, fucking his leaking hard-on against Zach’s. Chris shifted his weight, widening his stance to better thrust into Zach’s steely grip. With his hands free, he once again reached for Zach’s face, cradling it with surprising gentleness, as his tongue probed deeply into Zach’s mouth. Just like that, they fell easily into rhythm, Zach tending to their cocks and Chris to their mouths, sucking and licking at Zach’s swollen, sensitive lips.
Before long, Zach felt a familiar tightness low in his belly that meant he was close. “Chris,” he gasped against the other man’s mouth. “Chris, I’m gonna—”
“Yeah,” Chris said, grinding in with his hips and nipping at Zach’s lower lip. “Do it.”
Zach could practically count down the strokes – five, four, three, two… And then Chris found his tongue and sucked, and Zach lost it, thrusting up against Chris’ hardness and spilling over his own hand, finally getting to come pressed tight against Chris’ body.
Chris kissed him through it, his lips softening as Zach’s went slack with bliss. Zach gave himself a few seconds to pull it together, then carefully withdrew his own spent, sensitive cock to focus on Chris.
It didn’t take long, especially since Zach’s hand was now slick with his own release. Chris rested his forehead against Zach’s and moaned, body growing more and more rigid until the tension broke rather spectacularly and Chris was coming. Zach looked down to watch Chris’ gorgeous cock jump and spurt in his hand as Chris breathed raggedly against his mouth and shuddered hard.
Zach held Chris’ softening dick lightly as they both caught their breath. After a long minute, Chris spoke up, his voice still low and raspy with sex. “Zach?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m gonna need that back, buddy.”
Tender and romantic it was not, but Zach gave one last soft squeeze for good measure and released Chris. It was only then that he remembered where they were. “Fuck, Chris, we just…”
He looked up to see the very same thought occur to Chris, who finished his sentence. “…in a restaurant bathroom.”
Zach looked down at his shirt, which was now spotted with droplets of cum – his or Chris’, he couldn’t tell. Chris’ shirt had somehow stayed dry, but his pants were a mess, and he was obviously flushed and sweaty. Zach couldn’t help it; he started laughing. “Well, I think we may have bypassed normal for good.”
For a minute, Zach was a little worried that Chris was going to freak out, but then a crooked, bashful grin slowly began to spread across face. “Everybody’s going to know what we were doing in here, aren’t they?”
“If they don’t already,” Zach gasped between helpless giggles.
“And if they don’t, they probably think we skipped out on the check,” Chris moaned, but it ended in a chuckle. “I hope you’re not too attached to this place, because we can never come here again.”
“Aww, but this is where we had our first date! Where am I supposed to take you for our anniversaries?”
If Chris thought that was a bit premature, he didn’t show it. “No, we’ve got to pick somewhere else. Somewhere we haven’t violated at least a dozen health regulations.”
“You keep wearing suits like that when we go out and there’s not gonna be an unviolated restaurant left in LA.”
“You sweet-talker,” Chris purred, slinking back up into Zach’s space for another kiss, this one slow and languid, as though everything else in the world had fallen away.
Neither of them really wanted to leave the safe haven of the bathroom, but eventually Zach had to pull away to wash off the mess half-dried on his hands. They both straightened up as best as they could, though it still seemed obvious – to Zach, at least – why Chris was wearing that satisfied grin.
Oh, well. Better to get it over with now. They’d have to leave an exorbitant tip. “Ready?” Zach asked, his hand on the door handle.
“Not for any of this,” Chris said, his smile never faltering. “But I think it’s going to work out anyway.”
Epilogue
“Chris, can you please—”
“Just a second.”
“Seriously, Chris, Carlos is going to break my fingers if I ruin one more pair of ears.”
“Fine, fine,” Chris grumbled, but when he came close to take Jordan, he was smiling. Jordan whimpered as Chris lifted her from Zach’s shoulder, her arms outstretched as she reached back and made grabby hands at Zach’s head. “I know, sweetheart,” Chris cooed. “We all want to play with them. But the makeup people are big, bad monsters that like to gobble up babies who mess up prosthetic Vulcan ears.”
“Chris, should you really be telling her things that are scary and—” Zach glanced around quickly for Carlos “—probably not true?”
“Just preparing her for the realities of life on set,” Chris said, setting her in the Captain’s chair and crouching down to gently tweak her nose. It was truly unfair to every woman in the building, all of whom were drawn inexplicably toward the sight of Captain Kirk playing with a baby. It must have been some kind of hormonal thing, because even the very large, very stern boom mike operator who looked like she could take Zach in a fight without even breaking a sweat was gravitating toward them. Hell, even most of the guys were grinning like idiots.
“Alright, alright,” JJ said, trying to sound stern even though he, too, was smiling. “Pete’s almost got the lighting grid fixed, so the little sprout needs to go back from whence she came.”
There was a collective “Awwww,” but Chris promptly whisked her up. It had taken a great deal of negotiation and a not-insignificant chunk of their own funds, but they’d been able to set up a day care for children of the cast and crew near the main soundstages. Chris had finally broken down and hired a nanny for the times when they were off filming on location, but on days like this that often stretched long into the night, they could at least have Jordan nearby.
What Chris hadn’t yet talked the producers into was the need to include in the film the presence of Vulcan babies on the new colony – “just, y’know, to show that they’re successfully adapting to the new planet and beginning to repopulate and stuff” – but he hadn’t give up yet. Zach was a little surprised that Chris hadn’t attempted to pluck her wispy little eyebrows into shape already.
Before leaving the set, Chris brought her back over to Zach and held her out for a kiss on the forehead. “Bye Jordan,” Zach said. “Play nice with the other kids.” Chris pulled Jordan back, then stepped forward himself. Zach sighed. “Bye Chris,” Zach said, obliging him with a kiss on the forehead. “Get your butt back here in two minutes or I’ll tell everyone about the duct-taped diapers.”
Chris frowned. “Uncool. I thought we’d agreed never to mention that again.”
“No, you told me to never mention that again. I agreed to nothing.”
After blowing a haughty raspberry, Chris turned on his heels and left, murmuring, “Let’s go, Jordan. We don’t want to play with the Vulcans, anyway. They’re mean.”
As Zach watched them go, Zoe wandered up, linking her arm through Zach’s and leaning lightly on his shoulder. “Hot damn. You picked a good time to hit that, you know. Every straight woman of childbearing age in the world wants to be you right now.”
Zach elbowed her gently. “You included?”
“Nah, I’ve got my own in the works.”
It took Zach a minute to puzzle that out. He pulled back and looked at her. “Seriously?”
She grinned, her eyes lighting up. “Yep.”
“How long have you known? Does Keith know?”
“Uh, yes, and only about a week now. I’m due in September. Don’t go blabbing, though. I’m not announcing anything until principle photography is over.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Zach said sincerely. “Congrats, by the way.”
“Thanks,” Zoe said with a small smile. “I’m a little concerned about accidentally bringing on the apocalypse, though.”
Well, that was quite a non sequitur. “Okay, you lost me.”
“I’m a little worried I might break down and ask Chris for parenting advice. Chris. Parenting advice.”
Zach laughed. “Hey, he’s done alright by her.”
“Not just by her,” Zoe said meaningfully, nudging him in the ribs.
His face flushed as he watched Chris come back on set, a spring in his step as he winked at Zach. “I guess not.”
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Date: 2011-06-15 10:13 am (UTC)